I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
