woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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