I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize