Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
