Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
