i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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