fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
