I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
