umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
