are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
this beer tastes like vomit already
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize
