I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
My bed smells like the plague
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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