Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
