I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
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