yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Randomize
