I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
