lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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