look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
