I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
