We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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