Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
