My brain says no but my pants say off.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
