i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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