hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
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