Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
