You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Randomize
