Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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