I look better un-naked...
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
