i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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