At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
