note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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