sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
