It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
