So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
