I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
