I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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