he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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