Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
