i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
