The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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