So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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