windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
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