i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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