you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
