i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
