Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
