Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize