Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
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so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
My vagina is officially offended.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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