It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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