Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Randomize
