He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
