I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
