Don't you send me to vm
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
