i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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