imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
