I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
