He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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