I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
