Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
