her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
