is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
