he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
