talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Your cock deserves a montage
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize