We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
